Archive for June, 2008
excitement is contagious
June 30th, 2008. Published under reflection. Comments.
What else would you wanna catch from your friends and colleagues except excitement? It’s taken me nearly 40 years to understand (or is it remember) that there ain’t nobody going to get the party going ‘cept yourself.
You are it, baby! You wanna get excited? Get excited! And everyone else around you is gonna say, “wow, I want some of that”, and they’re going to get excited. Then, you’re gonna get more excited. And, they’ll get more excited!
And, then someone’s going to be Eeyore and say, “Well, I don’t know…” and you’re going to walk over to them and say, “you kiddin’ me?”
Seriously, though, how many times have I sat around and waited for someone else to get excited? Or, not even excited, just plain motivated. Or, even simply interested. I can see so clearly that passive mode of, “please, tell me what I should be interested/excited/passionate about”. And, there isn’t anyone better on the planet to give me that information than me, myself and I.
We really do have everything inside of us to get that “next step” in our lives. Time, space, a little quite, whatever you need to get back into touch with that side of yourself that knows what’s best for yourself, do it. And, what are you waiting for?
C’mon… can’t you just get yourself excited that somewhere on the other side of your non-knowingness, there’s a passion, an interest, a carrot that’s going to get you out of your seat and you’re gonna want to throw yourself into it?
Really… just try it. Quiet yourself and ask, “What do I *really* want?”
And, then listen… you’ll be amazed with yourself.
voicing
June 30th, 2008. Published under voicing. Comments.
Why do we communicate anything personal to anyone? How do we expect anyone to really know what we’re talking about? It seems like it would take an infinite amount of time to fully and completely inform someone of our exact particular situation for any communication about our personal lives to make any sense. We might as well just cut our heads off, hand it to them and say, “here… you figure it out, explanation is useless”.
A co-worker and friend posted on twitter tonight:
Why do are we compelled to talk about personal lives w/o giving details? Does anybody really want to hear? Is it like writing in a diary? [post]
What is the real purpose of personal communication anyway? We all work or play together, yet each one of us have incredibly personal, private lives. And I don’t mean with our family or with relationships. The private lives we all live inside our head. How much of what goes on in here actually makes any sense to anyone else?
When we say what we say, there are so many layers of interpretation and misinterpretation. I hear you say something, yet I hear the echoes of my own thoughts. It’s my life I’m hearing you in, not yours. My life is the lens through which I see you. And in that sense, everything out there is just me anyway.
Though if we were really just ourselves and the Universe only the reflection of our own thoughts, there’d be no spark of life or creativity. It takes two to dialogue. Or was it tango? Or some other communication dance…
Put your words out there. Speak them. The act of speech whether there is communication or not is the beginning of dialogue. I’m here alone in this blog. Someday someone might read this. I’ve started the conversation. Will anyone join? Who knows…
It’s me. It’s out there and it’s not me. I am the dialogue. In here and out there the conversation begins. Utterances. Voicing. Belief in the world that the word from my mouth makes sound. And who hears. Who here is listening.
It’s just a life. A whole life. So many layers and I must start somewhere.
Hello!
patterns of self destruction
June 27th, 2008. Published under reflection. Comments.
Every once in a while, I get to see myself in all of my full-color widescreen glory… and sometimes it doesn’t look so great. When a particular problem arises in one area, if I’m able to dig into the problem and unwrap the layers and layers of self-defense and justifications, I can get a glimpse of how this one issue is just a reflection of a larger, repeating pattern.
Last night, I took some time to investigate why I start project after project and don’t continue it. I have always been the architect of my own undoing and this time I got to the heart of the why.
Tell yourself, “Whatever stops me from doing <insert your desire here>, stops me everywhere.” And, ask yourself, “What are those things?” … think of the things you do as playing a game with its own rules and playing fields and you as the player…
For me… it comes down to:
- disenchantment
- stop believing in the game
- time resentment
- doubting intention
- the burden of commitment
- strife distractions
For each one of these, I see exactly how it keeps appearing in all aspects of my life and how I use these things as excuses to never finish what I start. And, for each one, I’ve got some ideas about how to deal with it…
Disenchantment
I lose interest in the project… lose faith in the process. Boredom (which is most usually just a resistance to moving forward) takes over and, like I tell my kids, “only boring people get bored.”
- slow down, be aware, spend time with the boring things
- “If something’s boring, try it until it’s not.” – John Cage
- own the process, make it your own
- contemplate and understand the process
- then poke and prod it until it sings
Stop Believing in the Game
I sign up to “play” these projects and ideas and jobs and friendships and on and on… though at some point I stop believing in the value of it all. I see flaws in the process; flaws in my approach. It all stops making sense. And I want to exit.
- then, agree with yourself to stop the game and quite fighting with yourself
- change the rules and play a different game
- rekindle your belief in the game and play your heart out
- find out how to succeed instead and JFDI (just fucking do it)
Time Resentment
A huge one for me… time becomes scarce. The demands of too many involvements suck my energy away and I find myself with no time for anything. I rush through and do half-ass jobs on everything which creates more stress and even more the feeling of “there ain’t enough time!”
- make time management tools work (see Getting Things Done)
- stop taking on so much
- delegate
- stay focused, stay purposeful
Doubting Intention
I start to ask why I began it all in the first place and I forget the core of my intention which is almost always distorted by the time and distance between the start and now.
- go back to the beginning and truly understand the reason why you started
- find the why of the why
- travel back in time and reset the intention if it feels off
- put the intention into the larger context of what you want to with your life
- trust the you that got you there
The Burden of Commitment
Kinda related to time resentment, though instead of my strong commitment being a blessing I turn it into a burden and as something that sucks me dry
- return to the strength you find in purpose and commitment
- choose to own it
- reclaim it
- fulfill the promise you made and *move on*
Strife Distractions
Yeah yeah yeah… conflict happens. And I take it all in way too deep and use the conflict as an excuse to give up in all areas. Get over it, man. Strife happens. Don’t take your own self down when it feels like others are trying to do the same.
- “It burns burns burns… this ring of fire!” – Johnny Cash
getting started
June 26th, 2008. Published under reflection. Comments.
This, the first post of the newly rebuilt reinventnow.com/blog, it’s appropriate to to talk about getting started. Again. And how to reinvent getting started.
If something ends, it’s time to get restarted. Creation, preservation, destruction… the eternal holy trinity of cycles. Which came first the destruction or the new life. Let’s restart the conversation.
To begin again. Let’s begin to talk together about this beginning.
I have begun to understand this nature of mine. How to see what I see in myself more often so that I’m not stuck in beginning again. Rather, to thrive in the beginnings… to take them through to the other side. If it ain’t gonna end, then you never began.
I could tell you that I know what I do when I do them now. However, I repeat myself. Let me repeat, I repeat my self. Over and over, my self-made selves show up in front of me. And do I choose the self that I prefer? Or am I the choice of the particular self that sees me now?
Take a thought. Please.
Take it onward through its fits and starts. Take it up to 11. Take it on a picnic and let it take you to its end. Period.
Maybe that’s it. Maybe the moments in the moments that can be ended simply and let go can build a life that has a meaning across the moments. Opening a book on the opening page is for sameness. Difference is made in the chances.
Given a sentence why would you not take the paragraph? Keep the sense of your self in constant flux for funny things fly when the juice is flowing. I might not know what I will do next. So I stop and start again. Latching on to bits of the familiar so the stream of thoughts can kick me out of bed.
In the mourning. That’s when to get started. Wake up. Make it real and take it on.
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I have struggled with the so-called life/work balance and have planned to have a blog since I first heard the word some 7 years ago. I’ve had reinventnow.com for so long it seems like I’ve always had it. I don’t remember when I didn’t.
And every so often, every year or three, I take it up a notch and tell myself now *this* is the year to reinvent myself. Yet, that’s the crux of the problem. Getting started with a huge project by seeing it as a huge project makes it a huge project. And not many will take a huge project on and thrive.
Take it in small steps, I’m telling myself now. Be simple. Start again whenever you feel like, man. Be real. Stop casting the net so far and wide that nothing makes it here. I am here to stay and here to reinvent myself every day.
Please, stick around and help me start it all again. This time, it’s more about this time. Now.
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